Doubts and fears
by Spring88
Summary: Sequel to "Andrew" - Something is going on with Emily and when she finds what it is, a lots of doubts and fears crowding her mind... - Sorry, me and summaries don't have a good relation - I don't own anything - R


_Sequel to "Andrew" (read it before this story)_

* * *

Emily woke up, still sleepy, in Derek's king size bed.

Instinctively, like what it had become an automatic gesture, she rolled on her left side to receive a kiss from Morgan, but the only thing she found was...well, nothing but the bedclothes. Luckily, before her fears and her insecurities put roots in her head, the room door opened to reveal Derek carrying a tray with breakfast for Prentiss.

Despite Andrew was gone from her life, all the fears caused by him were remained to make her a bad company, like being left by Morgan.

"Good morning beautiful"

"Morning" she mumbled back, running her hands over her face to wake up better and sitting down covering her naked form with the sheet, as if she didn't want to be seen naked by the man who had seen her naked too many times, from him who knew every minimum detail of her body.

Like the small birthmark in the shape of a semicircle which she has under her navel, the same one whereby Derek teases her saying it is a "D" to indicate her desire of him.

Or the the almost invisible scar that the appendectomy had left on her, when she was 10 and her nanny took her to the hospital because her mother was to busy even for her daughter who was ill.

Or the tattoo on her hip which says "My mistakes are my chance to learn" that she did as soon as she came of age, thinking back to all her small or big mistakes in life, including choose that tattoo shop that wasn't exactly synonymous with cleaning.

"I made this for you" he told her posing the tray on her lap.

The woman tapped gently with her hand the side of the bed free next to her, inviting him to sit while she looked what he made for her: pancakes with raspberry and chocolate syrup, tropical fruits juice and coffee.

"It's too much, but thanks" she said finally giving him the kiss without which she barely managed to start the days

"Well, I thought you need a bit of the energy we consumed last night..." he winked ruffling, even more, her hair which already were a mess after their all-night-sex.

"Why there is a rose?"

"Last month we were on the case in Eugene -"

"Are we celebrating a month since that case in Oregon? Because I don't think we have a reason to celebrate it...and we had other cases later" she interrupted him

"No, silly girl, it's not for that reason. Let me explain... Last month we were on the Eugene case so I couldn't organize anything special because, 2 month ago, it was the first time that we..."

"...we had sex" she completed the sentence for him.

Much time has passed, at least for their standards, since their first date when they made love for the first time. After Andrew, for some weeks, there was like an obstacle that Emily had to overcome to let herself go completely with Derek; but after that, they have revived that pleasant moments several more times.

"Derek, we are not teenagers anymore"

"I know, but it doesn't mean that you don't deserve something special..."

Since they started dating, Morgan took any chance to spoiler her: their first official date, the first case like a couple also in the real life, their first kiss and so on...but luckily he didn't celebrate every time they had sex otherwise he would be a ruined man, happy but ruined.

"Are you sure to be real?"

"Yes, I am!"

When Emily took the fork to eat her breakfast, she discovered she wasn't hungry at all. Indeed, she was annoyed and almost nauseated by the presence of all that food.

Despite she tried to hide her trouble, it didn't escape from Morgan:

"Hey, what's up?"

"Nothing, it's alright" she lied, trying to eat

"Em, please..."

"It's nothing, really. It's only that I'm not so hungry, that's all"

"Baby, listen, since tonight you will have a ladies night I planned something to spend the day together but you need energies so you have to eat...unless...don't you like it? Do you wanna eat something different?"

"No! This my favorite food made by my favorite man, I don't want anything else. But, you know what? Maybe I need a stimulus, why don't you feed me?"

"Everything you want!" he replied starting to feed Emily who was once again hungry.

Their date went in the best way. Emily felt other times that unpleasant feeling of nausea in the pit of the stomach but, as she was used to doing, she pretended that she was good and she did her best to enjoy her day: Derek had worked hard to organize everything and she didn't want destroy all his work.

/ M&P /

"Emily, what's wrong with you?" JJ enquired when the 3 women emerged from the restaurant where they just had dinner

"Nothing. Why do you think that something is wrong with me?"

"Emily, anyone could easily understand that something is wrong..." Garcia pointed out "...do you have some problem with our sexy chocolate guy?"

"Garcia, I have not yet figured out what I feel when you say 'our' talking about my boyfriend..." the brunette admised, the two ladies were the only two to have news about her relationship without have to profile the two lovers "...and no, everything is great with him, thanks to God!"

"And under the covers? Is some neighbor sick of the noises?"

"Garcia! I think that it's a private thing, just for me and Derek...but, just for the record, Derek has taken up residence in the 'G' point!" Emily confirmed, making her colleagues laugh

"So? Can you tell us what is your problem? You haven't touched food tonight..." JJ continued her little survey

"Oh, it's nothing...are a couple of days I don't feel well, maybe I'm getting the flu".

Suddenly the two blondes stopped their walk to confirm their hypothesis:

"Are you sure there aren't any other reasons?"

"Well, yeah, it could be...might be a bit of nervousness, Andrew's trial will start within days..."

"Emily, what are the symptoms?"

"I dunno...it seems like I'm always tired, I'm quite vulnerable and my stomach feels like I just got off a roller coaster"

"And you don't think that it's due to other reasons? Like..."

"Like?" then she saw the smiling gaze on her friends' faces and she realized the explanation for their involvement "No, ladies, it isn't so...it can't be...we were careful and plus I'm on pill..."

"Yeah, it was the first thing that I thought when I found out I was pregnant with Henry! For how long you don't have your cycle?"

Emily did a rapid calculation, then another and then another one with the aid of the fingers, just like a child at the first dealing with math.

"Nope, it can't be..." Prentiss repeated, especially to convince herself "...there could be a lot of other logical explanations for this"

"Em..." JJ spoke placing a hand on her colleague and friend's shoulder "...I know you, I know you prefer solve the doubt immediately. Nearby there is a pharmacy, let's take a pregnancy test and then come back to my place, ok?"

"What about our movie?"

"Em, you wouldn't be able to enjoy the movie at this time, we will have a cinema night another day"

Not long later, after that Emily had become finally convinced to take the test, the brunette SSA was walking back and forth in JJ's lounge room waiting to see the response of it. Part of her was quiet, she knew that it wasn't like Rome, she wasn't alone now. But another part of her couldn't help but ask herself how things between her and Derek would evolve if the little stick which was waiting for her in the bathroom has given positive outcome.

Every second seemed to last hours and a minute seemed to last days, she wouldn't be surprised if, at the end of those 5 minutes, she had aged a couple of years.

When the alarm sounded, to remember them that the waiting time was over, Emily jumped 9 feet high.

"Okay, it's time" Garcia remarked

Emily took few steps before stopping and adding in a low voice:

"I-I can't..." loud enough to be heard by the other two women

JJ jumped at the opportunity to go to the bathroom from which she emerged a few moments later with a big smile on her face:

"It's positive!" the blonde profiler added, as if her expression wasn't clear enough.

Since that moment everything has ceased to be clear and crisp for Prentiss, she heard a "Congratulation" come muffled from Penelope, but she was too busy to realize her own feelings to join her friends' happiness.

If she hadn't had this deep feeling that she would lose the best man she ever had at her side in the exact moment when she would announce the news, she would be the happiest woman on the Earth. But now? What were her feelings? She loved Derek and, for the very first time in her life, she knew what the others were referring when they said they are 'madly in love' but what about Derek? She knew he reciprocated her feeling, he always proved her that, but a child could change everything...

"What's on your mind?" JJ interjected her thoughts "Emily?"

"Talking sincerely? Everything!"

"You have all the time in the world to be worried. But now, can you tell us why you can't be happy?"

"I'm happy, I really am, don't get me wrong...it's just that I can't stop thinking about what impact this will have on Derek and me, on what we have become"

"Sweet pie..." Garcia took word "...I know Morgan a few years older than you, and believe me when I say that I saw him take care so much about only 3 ladies like he does for you, their name are Fran, Desirée and Sarah: his sisters and mother. Everyone have understand how much he loves you and I'm pretty sure you know it as well. Leave your worries and be happy for this news!"

"No, you don't understand, this is not the problem..."

"Explain yourself then, because I don't see any problem here..."

"The problem is that my child's father could be Andrew..." the woman snapped "...and this says a lot about what kind of mother this child will have. And if Derek were to leave us -"

"No, stop it now!" the computer technician silenced her "Here no one will leave anyone! And if, in the most remote of the hypothesis, Derek would even think of leaving you, JJ and I will make him suffer in the worst way. However, you and your baby will never be alone, you will always have aunt JJ and aunt Penelope on who you can count!"

/ M&P /

The following morning, Morgan crept stealthily in JJ's office to talk to her:

"JJ, I need to ask you something and I'd like it if you would answer me in all sincerity. Okay?"

"Okay. Just for my curiosity, why are you here and not in Garcia's office?"

"Because Garcia begin to make a series of speeches to turn around the question without ever answering"

"Alright, ask me"

"What is going on with Emily?"

"What do you mean?"

"Come on JJ, don't pretend you didn't notice anything last night...she was pretty upset when came home yesterday, something happened?"

After a few seconds of something close to panic, the blonde woman answered:

"Oh, probably it's because Andrew's trial day is here to come...about that, I'd like to organize a dinner to amuse Emily. What about tomorrow night?"

"Tomorrow night? Yeah, it should be okay, I will ask Emily to confirm"

/ M&P /

The night of the dinner, Emily did her best to try to have fun but what she had to say to Derek prevented her from fully enjoying the evening.

JJ and Garcia pushed Prentiss to talk to Morgan several time but the brunette woman has always found an excuse to delay that moment.

"Oh my God, JJ!" Garcia yelled "We forgot to buy that thing..."

"What we forgot to buy?" JJ asked, feeling lost by Garcia speech

"JJ!" the blonde tech shooting with a gaze her friend, to make her realize that something was in her mind "C'mon, that thing...in that shop...JJ, hello?"

"Oh, yeah, that thing, you're right! We still have half an hour before dinner...we can go to buy it now"

"Yep, sure, we can go now...and we need also Kevin and Will's help, right?"

"Right!" JJ replied calling her boyfriend and Garcia's.

As soon as Prentiss understood the two women's plan, she gave them a look of supplication.

"Ladies, do you need another hand to help?"

"No, Morgan, thanks! You can stay here with Emily to look after Henry. It is a problem for you?"

"Nope, it's okay, don't worry" Derek said to JJ before closing her front door after their leaving.

"You're look so beautiful!" Morgan commented, leaning against Henry's bedroom door, watching Prentiss play with JJ's son

"Thank you" Emily replied absently.

When Henry was busy with his constructions, the man called, close to him, his girlfriend to talk to her:

"Em, what's up with you in these days? Do you... Do you wanna break up with me?"

"No!" she nearly screamed "No, absolutely no! Even though I fear that you'll want to do it..."

"Why should I? Honey, please, don't let me out" he spoke, caressing with his thumb her cheek

"Derek...I-I'm...listen, there's not an easy way to say it so I'll tell you bluntly... Derek, I'm pregnant"

"You are...you are pregnant? Really?"

All that Emily could do was to nod

"Wow, baby, that's...simply amazing!"

"What?" Emily asked. She imagined a lot of sceneries, a lot of possible Derek's reactions, but this not matched her expectations at all.

"You're pregnant! That's the best news I've ever received"

"Derek, you know that the baby's father could be Andrew, right?"

"Yeah, I know but it doesn't matter to me! I mean, I hope I'm the baby's father but, for me, since the baby will have half of your genes, nothing else really matter"

"Are you serious?"

"Sure, why should I joke? Em, are you crying?"

"No!" she denied, immediately wiping the tear that was going to scratch her cheek "Ok, yeah, I'm crying"

"Why?"

"Hormones..." after having seen his skeptical look she admitted the truth "...okay, I'm touched for what you just said"

"You did expect another response from me, didn't you?"

"Yep. It's just that I've received so many delusions from people in my life and I couldn't believe that the things are going so good between us so..."

"...so you were expecting a disappointment from myself?"

"Kind of..." Emily told shyly

"Baby, what I've to say or to do to prove you that I love you and nothing is gonna to change that?"

"You're already doing more than I deserve"

"No, it's not true, you deserve that and a lot more. I'm so happy that we are having a child together, I can't wait to see you with our baby as beautiful as you look when you're with Henry or other kids. I love you so much Emily Prentiss!"

"I love you too"

"It's for this reason that you were so strange in the last few days? Because you were worried to tell me that you're pregnant?"

"Yes...well, I was more worried about how you would have learned that the child might be Andrew's. You know, look at the baby everyday knowing that he or she isn't yours and stuff like that..."

"Princess, I'll say it again, it doesn't matter to me who is baby's father, it's our child. And that I'm sure that our son or daughter will inherit your beauty so I'll look at the baby thinking about how much I'm lucky to have you two in my life!"

"Derek, you are sure that you're human, aren't you?"

"Come closer silly girl..." he kindly ordered, wrapping his arms around her waist to pull her in a hot kiss to prove her that he is real.

And so, now that Prentiss had removed that weight from her consciousness, but above all now that she realized that she had not had any reason to be worried, Emily was finally able to enjoy the night with the people she loved most.

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_Hope you liked it! Review, if you want! ;))_


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